Kingdom of Ansteorra Forums

[Rakuro]

So does anyone still have those erratic recollections of Ansteorra Kingdom and the lives we all created for ourselves when we were younger? I know a few of you still lurk about and maybe feel that sporadic pull to check the forums when nostalgia strikes you hard. This world had such a huge effect on me when I was in my late teenage years, and I remember every last one of you who were around in those heydays of Kitzibeth, Rivyn, praying to Dalin for every roll, Sirum being... well... Sirum... and myself as Rakuro - Owner of the Enchanter's Shoppe, leader of the Merchant's Guild, dude who made Crafting officially A Thing, and probably a renegade Taneest By Default who just made a bunch of fuss.

Kitzibeth most influentially, Rivyn second of all, Dalin because he was the most mature of us, Zagnafein, Ruby, Hikari, Sirum, Kivae, Shayde, Kalannar, Path'en, Erk, Dirk, Marlina, Jon Ruddiwyne, Kele, and Tekki.

To say nothing of Isilde, who meant a lot to all of us. Danu, who I don't believe I ever knew the real side of. Fen, who was crazier than all of us. Vith, who I only knew a little bit. And Choe-pai, who deserves her own paragraph.

This is sentimental as all hell, and is largely only being written as a testament to how much this world and all of you people meant (and continue to mean) to me. But like flowers on a grave, I'm going to leave this here just in case you happen to get that nostalgic twinge and wonder where Ansteorra has gone. It's long since passed into the annals of history, but I believe every one of us carries a piece of that history in ourselves. I'm so happy to have experienced such a beautiful collaboration of imaginations as we had, and I continue to wish you all the best in the rest of your lives.

~Rakuro
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable in their apparent disinclination to do so. ~Douglas Adams

[Ruby Pyralis]

^ Seeing that red "new post" indicator almost made me tear up.

Is it because it's almost summer that we both felt the nostalgia kick in? Summer break was when I could finally spend time with my Ansteorra friends until the wee hours of the morning. Remember bathtime fun night? Holy moly that must've been what, 2005?

I have a regrettably bad memory and I don't always remember the specifics, but above all else I remember how everyone made me feel. I felt like I belonged and had a place where people wanted to be my friend. I didn't realize it at the time, but I'll say it now: I was abused when I was growing up, both me and my sister. My mother was mentally ill my entire life and I never understood what was wrong with me, why I could only connect with people online, how I was never good enough for my own family in reality. It took me quite a bit of therapy to understand why I felt safe in our fantasy world, why I had to create this big strong demon to fight the battles I could never win in real life. I was honestly a pretty meek kid with no other outlet.

I love you guys, thank you for accepting this lonely kid who needed to feel wanted.

[Rakuro]

As a homeschooled kid, I definitely had way too much free time and summer was just another part of the year, but I'm sure everyone else getting out of school, quest season ramping up, and all of us having more time to hang out definitely has a lot to do with it. I know that for me, I'm always drawn back to memories of Ansteorra when I have a huge transition in front of me. I'm going back to school, hopefully completing it this time. There's been a handful of struggles the past few years, all of which have made doing "all the things you're supposed to do" progressively more difficult, but I'm trying really hard to push myself into a better situation. It helps me a lot to remember being Rakuro.

I think, in many ways, maybe like you choosing to be the big black demon executioner, me choosing to be a mentally unhinged fire wizard maybe had a lot to do with the face I chose to deal with my real life. Rakuro's schizophrenia, manic episodes, and eventual shattered mind paralleled a lot of real life problems for me.

And in the midst of that, all of us became really, deeply connected. I don't think we had to talk about the issues we were going through to understand that each one of us was struggling with something. We just recognized each other as meaningful, and we loved one another as only misfits who finally discover their people do. And even though Ruby Pyralis was a big evil demon executioner, the Rooblar was like the little sister I never knew I wanted.

Now, for something completely different! We're testing a whole new form of automatic onion cutting! It's amazing, really! Just.. the fumes.. y'know. Get to you.
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable in their apparent disinclination to do so. ~Douglas Adams

[Canti]

[Kitzibeth]

It feels like I popped on the forums maybe 6 months ago, just to look, and it was still quiet and somber---like passing by a gravesite of a loved one whose passing no longer pains as much as it once did.

Then I got a ding from the admin of the website asking if we were still using furc.steelangel.com, so I came back, and I can't stop reading. And crying. And reading more. I fear I may get dehydrated. T.T Part of me wants to write this really long post, but I keep erasing it to start over.

We were all fellow travelers on this crazy world of Feanor, full of demons and furres, creation and destruction, fear and hope---but most of all love.. even when some of us didn't really love ourselves. For me, Anst was a lifeline, and I know I was not the only one. Everyone came to Ansteorra with our own stories, our own hopes and our own troubles. But together we made something so much more than any of us alone. We built a community of tales and adventures and a place to belong.

I cannot thank everyone enough for being there.. and Sirum.. thank you for posting all of these memories. I'm pretty sure that Kitzerina would have said "yes."
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Sirum Hest: [It reads: It's great to be smart 'cause then you know stuff.]
Sirum Hest: [.. >>? It lacks a '- Kitzerina']

[Sirum]

[Ruby Pyralis]

I love you guys, we need a reunion!

I'll bring the beans with bacon.

[Dissident]

God it's crazy coming back here and reading everything. Really an amazing part of my life to think about, especially when it was the perfect escape from the rest of things at the time. I also would love to make a really long reminiscent post but it's hard to compose everything together. Maybe someday.

[Char]

Daaaaaammmmmnnn y'all, this and Sirum's other thread are a total blast from the past.

I was super young when I graced Ansteorra with my presence, so my memories are also a bit vague (except for the super cringey stuff like the one time I insisted that Canti had misspelled the word prerogative).

I missed out on a lot of quests and RP events (curfew/dial-up, ugh) but I still remember more about Ansteorra than any of the other dreams I roleplayed in during my (way too long) time on Furcadia. I also remember refusing to go out to dinner with my parents more than once because it conflicted with Friday night questing.

I do remember Charlotte getting knocked out a lot. The combat system was super fun, but eleven/twelve-year-old me just could not figure out how to allocate stats. (At one point I remember she had, like, 17 INT, a bunch of STR, and barely any CON, even though she was a warrior).

I remember Charlotte hanging out under the canopy way more than she ever guarded anything. And I also remember her being feline, then a phoenix, then a feline again, and then getting wings at some point, with zero attempt to explain it IC. Oh well.

I miss Ansteorra more than I miss Furcadia as a whole; a close-knit group of roleplayers having fun is something I haven't found since.

[Dirk Felis]

Wow, never thought I'd hear from Kitzi again... o.o

Also this is still alive! Woo!
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Chloe May turns to Erk frowning slightly "I'm sorry, but you're going to burn in hell forever."

Grivyn: Your ideal line is "The world is ending and the only shelter is in my pants."

[Garrett Riev]

Necroing this a bit but, I just felt like popping in and saying hi to anyone who still comes around, because I was feeling rather nostalgic. Also, while it's been over a decade, apologize for being kind of a shit back in the day, because, yeah I honestly was my stupid teenage years, and I guess thanks to those who put up with me back then!

Anyone wants to hit me up my Discord is Buccura#5169, or Bucky#5169. Pretty much everything else like Steam and Skype I'm Buccura on.
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I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark
And I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub
Has never seen a soldier quite like me
Not only does his job, but does it happily.

Voltaire > You

[Fenrorell]

I think about y'all a fair amount. I've managed to meet people IRL that turned out to have old Furc mutuals. Recently a Discord buddy asked my partner, "How do you know so-and-so?" Turns out so-and-so was someone I knew from Furc xDDD

A girl who took me on a silent retreat for New Year's took me to a local SCA event that she heard about from patrons at her day job. That really made me think about Kitzi. Some other Furc friends have gotten really into SCA in their local areas, too.

I never seem to cross paths with Ansteorra folks, though.

We might need to get some "I survived Ansteorra," coffee mugs made.

"Much love."
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“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”

[Zagnafein]

Hey gang, hope you're all well.

Sirum -- that retrospective thread is a jewel and you're a great person for putting it together. Thank you!

It's wild just how much I've forgotten about all those years we spent roleplaying together. The details of the stories we wove together are very fuzzy these days, but I still remember how emotionally charged they were (not to mention all the friendships OOC). We really cared about these characters -- though I definitely miss Tressym far more than Zag. That guy was kind of a sanctimonious dingus.

[Garrett Riev]

Ya know Zag, that's kind of how I feel about Garrett. In addition to just being a rip off of Thief he was also a mopey bastard that could only come from the mind of an idiot teenage weeb x)

I have a character I use on Furc and other things named Dante Clover who is very much like Garrett, right down to being a black furred feline, but far more friendly and lively. Also Scottish. He's inspired a lot by Zevran from Dragon Age though Oberyn from Game of Thrones is another good comparision. So, I like to call him my Garrett repentance. He hangs around Siochain now if any of you still play Furc from time to time like I do, so drop in!

Also, Zag, I feel like I was a bit of an annoying ass too you back then. Over a decade now so who gives a damn, but, still, sorry about that!
_________________
I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark
And I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub
Has never seen a soldier quite like me
Not only does his job, but does it happily.

Voltaire > You

[Chloe May]

My memories of Ansteorra suddenly started to creep into my consciousness this past week and I'm so happy I gave this old forum a look because what I've seen and read has filled me with such nostalgia and joy!

It's great to see that so many of you are doing well and still appear here every so often. I think for myself, like many others, I was very young when I was role playing with you all and it was such a joyous experience that helped me through truly some of the darkest periods of my life. I lost my parents around the time of playing Furcadia and I know the friendship, comfort camaraderie of Ansteorra helped me to escape from a lot of the trauma that took place at that age.

I also came from a background where no one really went on to university and I know that role playing in the way that we did definitely improved my literacy skills and most certainly helped me to lead a more prosperous life.. Going on to university, travelling, learning another language.. I'm indebted and grateful to you all for this.

My memories are fuzzy but I think as Ruby put it, I still remember how it all felt. It was wonderful.. And being a Brit, I recall having to go on quests at stupid hours (for myself) was a killer! I remember I would often go to school with no sleep, struggling through lessons but it was all totally worth it.

Thank you all so much for the memories.

I hope you're all leading happy, prosperous lives. :)
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The Cleric.